Football Misery: How could it go so wrong?
Astrology looks at the early exit of England and France
Rooney didn’t fire – England failed.
Leading up to the World Cup, and following a prolific goal-scoring season with Manchester United, deadly finisher Wayne Rooney, a powerful Scorpio, was tipped to be England’s hero - our own Gerd Muller, a fellow Scorpio and lethal striker; or our own Van Basten, another Scorpio with the happy knack of hitting the back of the net from impossible angles; or, even, that consummate Scorpionic hit-man, Maradona.
So what went wrong?
According to England manager, Fabio Capello, Rooney was tired after a long, hard season in the Premier League – perhaps a winter break like the Germans? According to his club manager, Sir Alex Ferguson, there was too much responsibility on young Wayne’s shoulders. According to astrology - they both have a valid point, however, from mid-April 2010 to July, the planet Saturn (the grim reaper) was casting his dark shadow over Rooney – depleting Wayne’s energy, hanging the psychological weight of the world around his neck, and putting lead in his boots – so a winter break would have only made a little difference - although resting him in the warm-up games and doing ‘light’ training would have helped conserve some energy for the ‘big’ games.
Nevertheless, there was more to it than that - Rooney didn’t have the right type of support: the other forwards - Peter Crouch (Aquarius), Defoe (Libra), and Heskey (Capricorn) - weren’t on his wavelength. After all, at Man Utd Wayne had Paul Scholes (Scorpio), Darron Gibson (Scorpio), and Nani (Scorpio) to help him plunder goals.
So, understandably, as the sun began to set on England’s prospects the travelling fans sent a plea to Fabio: Please pick Joe Cole (a Scorpio) to partner Rooney!
France – finalists in 2006 – failed to perform on the pitch.
I am wary of Leos (the lion kings) – they are show-offs and don’t play for the team: said amateur astrologer, and France manager, Raymond Domenech. Anyway, the eccentric Raymondo totally forgot his dictum and included William Gallas (Leo), Thierry Henry (Leo), Clichy (Leo), Cisse (Leo), Govou (Leo), and Squillaci (Leo) in his 2010 squad. As predicted the drama queens turned a decent draw against Uruguay into a national tragedy and then their performances became farcical: too many captains, bruised egos, not enough players (if any) prepared to sacrifice themselves for La belle France, the peasants revolted (players refused to train), the president intervened, and the rest is history.
However, the far-sighted Irish put the France debacle in context - it was fated (Ireland had been cheated out of a place in the Finals by Henry’s sleight-of-hand, so the Little People were duty-bound to settle the score). Moreover, the lions would do well to remember
that old tale, pride comes before a fall.
For more fascinating insights on how astrology applies to planet football, order your copy of ‘Football Aims for the Stars’, by astrologer and football fanatic Alan Ayre - to be published later this summer - from Matador: telephone 0116 279 2299.